Today I went to work on the house and it seemed as if everything hit me at once. We are on a very tight budget and timeline and it seems impossible at this point. Every where I look there is a project started but remains unfinished, trash all over the place, dust and dirt so thick, its hard to breathe in here. Today, the neat freak in me is coming out and I just wanna vacuum and dump bleach on EVERYTHING! This has been a whirlwind of emotions up to this point and while it may seem like I have it all together..I don't. I am working 2 full time jobs, trying to keep up with the blog, filming, while spending every second of my spare time at this house, and still trying to keep my own house in line. I feel as if I'm failing as a mommy, wife and friend sometimes. This post is not to get sympathy by no means, but to help me realize that i have to step away for a minute and breathe. God has lead me to this moment, right here right now. This is my dream happening in front of my eyes, he did not say it would be easy or everyone would do it. I'm walking away tonight from scrubbing these walls and leaving my thoughts here, they belong in this mess. I'm going home to my husband and kids whom I know adore me and reassure me daily how much they love me and are so proud. They are my reason and my strength. I was reminded today, just when I needed it the most , sometimes when it feels like I cant handle anymore, just go home love on my sweet family and let God take this tonight. There is no better peace than to know that I am not alone on this road, he is my right hand and has lead me here to succeed. Tomorrow is a new day, a new start! I'm sharing this post because I said I would blog my journey and the bad days are just that, part of my journey. For every bad day there is good to follow and I WILL complete this mess lol. Say your prayers, kiss your family goodnight, and remember the important things in life (someone very wise told me to remember this each day) and you will be where you need to be in life!
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